Idle Remorse

Review: THE Yuppie GAME

By On July 25, 2024 With No Comments

Review: THE Yuppie GAME
Publisher: Waddington’s
Year: 1985
Tagline: are you yup to the challenge?
Players: 2 to 4

Cover shows the board and next to it, BMW car keys, a canape, white wine, flowers and a copy of Architectural Digest

how we met

I found THE Yuppie GAME very recently at a thrift shop that I had previously almost dismissed for pricing their games and puzzles so high. But good thing I returned because, apparently, even the thrift shop knows no one wants THE Yuppie GAME. I paid $1.99 and walked out with my head full of white wine and canapés.

This was one of my favorite finds in a long time in terms of how weird and rare the game seems.

how it plays

In THE Yuppie GAME, each player starts with $50,000 cash and will win when they have achieved:

  1. $150,000 cash
  2. A marriage partner
  3. A career (min salary $40k)
  4. A yupling (that’s a kiddo)
  5. A private school for said yupling
  6. A living space
  7. A yupmobile

All seven items are needed for someone to be considered worthy of winning THE Yuppie GAME.

A player starts their turn by rolling the die and moving that number of spaces. Most spaces on the board will cause the player to draw a card, hoping to achieve those elusive yuppie dreams. Some spaces on the board will allow the player to steal a dream from another player. Another space on the board leads you to the largest deck in the game, Yupheavals. These cards can be bad. They may require you to lose a turn, to pay a “poor taste tax” to others, or they may upset all the progress you have made so far! Some of the cards are good though and result in you moving your pawn further along or getting more cash, upsetting fellow yuppies, etc.

The board. Look at all those pretty, pink Yupheavals spaces.

The goal is to move around the board and collect as many cards as you can. Each time you land on another player’s home base, roll again. If you land on or pass your own home base, this represents one year in your trying-to-be-a-yuppie life. It’s time to do some accounting:

  • Get paid any salary and other income owed
  • Pay any annual expenses
  • Pay off your Yuppie Express card if able (if you drop below $5k during play, take $10k from the bank and turn your Yuppie Express card over)
  • Then continue play
    If you land directly on your home base, you also get $5,000 and roll again!
A quick look at a few of the cards you are working to collect. “Let’s have fun watching our mutual funds mature” 🤌

Once a yuppie has all of the required cards to win the game, they still must play until they pass or land on their home base.

how it went

Look, THE Yuppie GAME is not perfect. I tend to be interested in games with a niche topic that have a bunch of humorous cards in them. The game I created, Panic Mode, is precisely that. I was looking forward to this 1985 time capsule, and in a lot of ways I was not disappointed.

Yes, the cards are often very funny and the poking of fun is relentless and brutal. I know the term yuppie as a thing, but I don’t know the subject so intimately that I could really predict all the ways in which yuppies would be ridiculed in the cards.

A few Yupheavals to feast your eyes and maybe lose your sleep.

And as much fun as the cards are, there are some blatant drawbacks to gameplay:

  1. It takes forever to get around the board, so the one year in your yuppie-hopefulness is probably 45-60 minutes in real life. Making the first yuppie to achieve their goals have to protect their cards long enough to reach their home base is a stretch.
  2. The type is so small! It’s so small. You end up fighting to read each card, which not only contributes to the time spent but also starts to chip away at your enjoyment.
  3. The cards get stolen and moved and discarded constantly. I’m all about some take-that mechanics, but it felt like such an uphill battle to even get a few cards toward the goal. And then, many times, when cards were removed it was from gameplay and not to other players, removing them from play entirely. And, like, we felt entitled to those cards! As gameplay continues, yuppies tend to start having more and more cards in front of them, but it takes a great deal of time.
  4. Some of the cards are confusing. You are often getting cards in which you buy something – from a magazine subscription to season tickets. Sometimes you pay the bank, sometimes you pay another player. It was unclear if all of these cards are required, so I assumed that they are. It was unclear if you should keep them in front of you. Some, like the subscription, seem to come back as references in other cards while others don’t. This could be commentary on conspicuous consumerism. It could also be bad design.
Yup-yikes!

I played THE Yuppie GAME with Bill, Jaime and Aaron on a recent Friday evening after we visited the local brewery and played a few rounds of Monopoly Deal over dinner.

Mid-play.

In our play, only a few notable things happened. One was Bill’s steady play, which he brings to most games. He was pretty consistently in good shape, stealing cards and getting stolen from in turn. Always in good shape but never running away with it.

Another was my late-game, mother-of-all Yupheaval cards, which removed all of my cards in play and half of my money. I became super broke. Aaron was handing me $10,000 here and there, because…

Aaron strongly disliked the game. He played like a champ, but he lost interest the soonest and would warn you the most fiercely away from THE Yuppie GAME. He probably lost a BMW or something.

Jaime had the most lose a turn cards. Maybe six? A lot. But she also enjoyed the most cards in front of her in late-game. Again, five or six. She was well on her way to yuppiedom.

And that’s why when we all decided we couldn’t go on any further, Jaime won THE Yuppie GAME!

play or pass

Pass. The cards are funny, if dated (and if you can read the small print). But the progress is mind-numbing, and the yupheavals are soul-crushing. I expected life in yuppiedom to be sweet and easy, but it was unfair and painful.

Review: Wild Wooly

By On June 3, 2024 With No Comments

Review: Wild Wooly
Publisher: Parker Brothers
Year: 1995
Tagline: He’s Wacky! He’s Wild! He Wants OUT!
Players: 2 to 4

Since my copy is missing the box, this photo is courtesy of @mevans444 on Board Game Geek

how we met

A couple of winters ago, our friend Alex wanted Bill to sell some of his childhood items on eBay. He brought over a couple of boxes, mostly dinosaur junk (jk, I love dinosaurs). Amongst the old toys was a ziplock bag containing Wild Wooly! And I stole/kept it. It’s just. so. 90s.

This version was only missing the box and instructions. NOTE: Hasbro keeps instructions online for their games so missing instructions are often just a google away.

how it plays

Wild Wooly is a rare and wild creature that you captured, and now your job is to create the best cage wall that you can! And quickly before he tries to burst out of the cage!

Wild Wooly!

Each player gets one side of the cage to guard. There are cardboard doors for sides where you may not have a player / for fewer than 4 players. Each player gets 7 cage bars in a specific mix of colors. They then place the cage bars in whatever manner they choose on their side of the cage as long as each top and bottom hole only contains one bar. You can’t just stack them in a couple of places.

What the cardboard wall looks like. This is used when you have fewer than four players and when someone goes out.
Here is a look at the slots that you can use to plan your cage wall strategy!

The game also includes a series of cardboard foods. Set these to the side where all players can reach them.

Once all players are ready, poke Wild Willy in the nose. This will anger him and cause him to try and escape the cage! Once he has started moving, the youngest player should start play by spinning the spinner and then play will continue to the left.

One of these things will happen after you spin:

  • Single color: remove a bar of this color from your own side of the cage
  • Rainbow space: remove a bar of your choice from your own side of the cage
  • Feed the beast: throw one of the food items to Wild Wooly to calm him down
  • Wild Wooly: remove any color bar from any of your opponent’s cage sides
A closer look at the spinner and food bits. I know a couple of humans that are calmer after a key lime pie slice, so it makes sense.

Soon, Wild Wooly will break out of one side of the cage!!! The player in charge of that side of the cage is eliminated, as they should be. Place a cardboard cover on that side of the cage, place Wild Wooly back into the cage and continue play. Repeat this process one more time if needed, until you have one player left and they win Wild Wooly!

how it went

Every time I have played Wild Wooly with a new group, two things have happened consistently. The first thing is that everyone gets a strange look as I begin to set up the cage. It’s a kind of, “Oh what does she have now?” look. The second thing is that everyone wants to play again immediately.

The cage bottom has a nugget on it, which makes the cage shake and rattle as Wild Wooly throws his weight around. This is much more fun than if the cage just sat flat on the table.

In my personal opinion, there is no real solid approach to building the cage wall that will get you a better outcome. (Side note: I have almost never won, so grain of salt and all that) The escapes seem to be somewhat random. But it can be a lot of fun to watch someone with a wide open space that Wild Wooly would just glide right on through, and watch him just flirt with getting near it. He’s a wiley one, that Wild Wooly.

Here is a look at our later play, with Wild Wooly searching for an exit.

I appreciate the absurdity of having to feed the beast. I can just imagine playing this as a kiddo and throwing a cardboard hot dog at Wild Wooly, hoping it will calm him down.

The first time we played with my regular group we played a few times in a row. I think both Bill and Keri won. I certainly did not. Most games had me go out, then John, then either Bill or Keri. Maybe there is a strategy to cage building?

Nah, I don’t believe it.

The deconstruction of your cage wall is at the luck of the spin, especially if you only have one bar of that particular color. The rest of the deconstruction is based on whether your terrible friends decide to target you. And finally, the random way in which Wild Wooly moves decides the escape. Such are the trials of caging a wild beast.

Finally, a very quick look at Wooly in action.

play or pass

Play! I’ll admit there is a lot of randomness and luck involved here, so Wild Wooly is not very gamely. But it’s cute and scary and tons of fun.

Review: idiomaddict

By On May 23, 2024 With No Comments

Review: idiomaddict
Publisher: Marbles the Brain Store
Year: 2013? per BGG
Players: 4 or more
Tagline: PLAYING IS AS SIMPLE AS SHORTCAKE

Cover has various idioms in different colored boxes, like Happy as a clam and Have butterflies in my stomach

how we met

I found idiom addict at my local town thrift shop, which doesn’t always have good games but when it does, they are quite random. If you are not sure what an idiom is, the box cover should remove all doubt since it is plastered with them. In fact, the game doesn’t really have a tagline I just used one of the examples from the box.

I love word games, and this one didn’t cost an arm and a leg. idiom addict was coming home with me.

how it plays

Players divide into teams of 2. The goal is to guess the common idiom based on the clues given, usually like the common phrase was fed through a thesaurus. (Example: the clue Punt the pail would become Kick the bucket) Teams take turns rolling the die with potential outcomes:

  • Synonym Twist is like an all play where each team has one representative guess the synonym based on provided clues. The first player to correctly guess two different synonyms gets to move their team pawn two spaces.
  • X1 or X2 then the opposing team will read your team Mixed Messages cards for 30 seconds. Guess as many as you can in the time limit. At the end, multiply your correct number of guesses by 1 for X1 and 2 for X2, and move your team pawn that many spaces on the board.
The die and pawns on the tiny board

Once a team’s pawn reaches the Idiom Addict end of the board, they must successfully win one last Synonym Twist to take the cake!

how it went

I first played idiom addict with my sister, Jaime, also a lover of word games. We played 2 player, and for the record 2 players vs 2 teams is six of one, half dozen of the other. 2 player works fine as long as you can drag someone else to the table to read out the Synonym Twist challenges to you. One of my fondest memories of playing was when one of us rolled Synonym Twist and we simultaneously whined, “Aaaaaron!” as my poor brother in law tried to do anything else for five minutes together. He’s a great sport.

In that initial play, Jaime soundly whipped me. She was ahead most of play and ultimately won! I put up a good fight though. We are both pretty good at word games.

The cards are double-sided, so here are both sides showing Mixed Messages and Synonym Twist

The next time I played idiom addict was with a group of friends in a conference room. The players ranged from my usual gaming group, with John insistent he would be terrible at it, to friends that I don’t get to game with very often. One is Polish, and I was worried how the cards would translate, if at all.

But the thing about idioms is, they are as ubiquitous as oxygen. They are a piece of cake. In the large group setting we had, we quickly abandoned the board, teams and official rules for just taking turns individually. I imagine this happens with idiom addict a lot.

Check it out, even the box of cards is thoroughly dipped in idioms

And, this type of casual play in a large group is a good rule of thumb. When players are in teams, play becomes a race to answer first. When players get a chance to answer on their own, the game is more enjoyable, more chill and more inclusive. If keeping score is important, just let people keep the cards they answer. Even if people don’t win, at least they got to play.

play or pass

If you are a fan of word games, don’t get cold feet over picking up idiom addict, especially at thrift. The official rules are for the birds in a large group, but there is still idiom fun to be had with the cards. Most of my friends that didn’t think they would like idiom addict ended up having fun with it. I don’t think the replayability is very high, so I am donating mine to a local brewery for others to enjoy.

Review: Knock Knock Game

By On May 5, 2024 With No Comments

Review: Knock Knock Game
Publisher: Milton Bradley
Year: 1982
Tagline: If you know “Who’s There”, you’ll win the Game!
Players: 2 to 4

The joke on the cover is: Who's there? Rich. Rich who? Rich for the sky..this is a holdup.

how we met

I stumbled onto Knock Knock Game in the clearance cave of Noble Knights games in the Madison area, which makes the game $2? $3? Thrift price. I was dreading playing after looking through some of the cards because the joke punchlines seemed difficult, but this is the kind of game I buy. So I bought it.

how it plays

Knock Knock Game is a spin and move game with different colored pawns – two each of red, blue, yellow and green. There are corresponding colored doors along the path, as well as grey doors. You also start the game with four Who’s There? cards in your hand. On your turn, you spin the spinner and move one of your pawns that number of spaces on the board.

Step right up!

If you land on a door the same color as your pawn, spin again! You get an extra chance to move ahead.

If you land on a grey door, nothing happens.

If you land on a door the same color as an opponent’s pawn, you must Knock Knock them. This involves drawing a Knock Knock card, choosing one of the two jokes to read aloud, and doing so. That player can check their Who’s There? cards to see if they have the answer, or they can guess. The game is clear that the wording need not be exact, but the spirit of the punchline must be there to get a correct answer.

If the player is wrong, they spin the spinner and move one of their pawns backward. If they are correct, that’s it. No extra spins and play moves on.

The first player to get both of their pawns past the Start space wins Knock Knock Game!

The Knock Knock deck
The Who’s There? deck

how it went

We played Knock Knock Game during a recent game night with my gaming group. My copy was missing pawns, so I just pulled some spares out of a baggie of extra parts and away we went.

NOTE: I made one change to the rules to speed up our gameplay. We each were in control of one single pawn instead of two. This allowed for a speedier trip around the board.

The board is cute and colorful

One of the concerns I had playing this game was the difficulty of the jokes. The Who’s There? cards really helped alleviate that concern because you might be asked a joke that you already have the punchline to. Easy. But I wasn’t prepared for some of the antiquated punchlines.

Knock Knock Game bringing you all the hits from the early 1900’s. Seriously, these cards contain lyrics to songs from 1902 and 1926.

This same method, where a player may have the answer they need on a card in their hand, means that some of the jokes are redundant within the game. This makes sense because if Knock Knock Game were full of too many different jokes then it would be increasingly unlikely for you to have the right punchline in hand, and the entire design would break down. The lack of sheer joke volume was a bit disappointing though, I have to admit. And we went through most of the deck in a single play (shortened by my single pawn decision) with four players.

It is worth noting that when you Knock Knock another player, you are the one saying, “Knock knock!” They say, “Who’s there?” You say who/what and they have to guess the answer — at this point the structure of the Knock Knock joke that has been burned into our brains since our youths breaks down fully. The other player only says “[whatever] who?” if they do not know the answer or choose not to guess. This is off-putting and even confusing at times.

Not too surprisingly, some of the jokes were a stretch. For example, monkey = my key.

One of the Knock Knock cards I drew during play

But, for the most part gameplay was straight forward and short enough to be enjoyable. I ended up in the lead after a few lucky spins, and I won Knock Knock Game! I also happened to have the right cards in my hand more often than not. After play, we just sat there and read some of the more bonkers jokes to each other.

play or pass

Pass this one right on by. If you have any reservation about passing up Knock Knock Game, just pick up The Joke Game instead. Knock Knock Game jokes range from a big stretch to positively antique. What ever happened to “Orange you glad I’m not a banana?” classics?

Review: Spitting Image

By On March 18, 2024 With No Comments

Review: Spitting Image
Publisher: Parker Brothers
Year: 1984
Players: 2 to 6
Tagline: THE GAME OF SCANDAL

Two puppets resembling Gorbachev and Reagan stare at each other
I know, right?

how we met

Since my sister moved to the area, I frequent Madison quite a bit, and Noble Knight Games has a clearance cave that I rarely leave without four or five games in tow. My very first visit I found Spitting Image, a game I’d never heard of. From a show I’d never heard of. With puppets that were once in a Genesis video that I’m not sure I’d ever seen. But the box is pretty irresistible, and I was happy to take Spitting Image home with me.

how it plays

In Spitting Image each player is a World Leader and has three scandals they are trying to keep secret. Your goal is to reveal the scandals of your fellow World Leaders and be the last World Leader with at least one scandal unrevealed. Then you win!

Our heroes?

In true shock value fashion, the fattest player goes first. Hello, 1984.

Movement in Spitting Image is very interesting. You choose where to move, anywhere between one and six spaces. In addition to moving their own pawn, each player also moves the Journalist pawn that number of spaces. World Leaders can’t share spaces with each other, but if the Journalist Lands on the same space as a World Leader, one of that World Leader’s scandals is auctioned off. The highest bidder obtains the scandal – but can’t reveal it yet!

This is what the hidden scandals look like during play.
Examples include "is secret member of flat earth society" and "suspected of insider dealing"
And some of the example scandals.

The player who wins the auction takes the next turn.

When a World Leader pawn lands on a Press Conference space and they have another player’s hidden scandal, they can try to expose the scandal. When the Press Conference is landed on, the following may occur:

  1. Blackmail (optional) where you can ask the World Leader whose scandal you have to pay you to keep it a secret. If it’s paid, you keep the scandal but the Press Conference ends and play goes to the next player.
  2. Accuse the World Leader by reading the headline out loud! Oh no!
  3. Play relevant Dirty Tricks cards to accuse the accuser of lying, but if they have the lie detector card then your accusation will fail and your secret will be out.

If a scandal is exposed, the World Leader that exposed it receives $50 million from the bank. Because the rich get richer.
If the scandal is instead refuted, the World Leader that was accused receives $10 million from the accuser as damages. That’ll show the bastard.

The money isn’t much to look at, but here you go!

The player who wins the press conference always takes the next turn. The rules about play turn are important so you don’t get stuck moving in concert with the Journalist. That would suck.

Other spaces on the board move the Journalist pawn, allow World Leaders to draw cards or grant the World Leaders more money.

Here are the Dirty Tricks cards. National Security lets you escape a press conference without embarrassment, guaranteed!

Play continues until one World Leader remains, and they are the winner!

NOTE: For a shorter game the rules recommend everyone counts up what they have left after the first player is out, cards are assigned dollar amounts and the World Leader with the most wealth wins!

how it went

I played Spitting Image recently with my usual gaming group. The movement took a few minutes to get used to, but then we were booking it around the board and callously moving the Journalist onto each other’s World Leaders consistently.

These are the World Leader cards that you pair with your scandals.

Some of the pawns are not especially easy to tell apart, which can be a pain. I was happy to have the big red nose on our awful Journalist pawn.

A look at our play. Specifically Pope John Paul II.

In a repeat of history, Kinnock (me) and Thatcher (John) were the last two pawns standing in the end, taking shots at each other. John had so much money I didn’t think I would be able to get poor Kinnock to the end. But I wore John down and drew very lucky cards that allowed me to protect my last, precious, scandalous secret. When I revealed that Thatcher “once went on seal-culling adventure holiday” that was it. Kinnock wins!

play or pass

Pass. I enjoy the quirky pawns in the style of Spitting Image puppets, and the movement kept things interesting. But player elimination and the dated content places major limitations on the enjoyment of Spitting Image. I do love a good satire, but it doesn’t always translate to a good game.

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