Idle Remorse

Review: Lego Creator

By On August 22, 2018 With No Comments

Review: Lego Creator
Publisher: RoseArt
Year: 1999
Tagline: The Race to Build It Board Game

Lego Creator cover showing a mini-fig and several bricks

how we met

I met Lego Creator in the garage of an estate sale recently. The person who had owned this game, and everything in that house and garage, was a collector through and through. Even their lamps were interesting. I think it was late in the first day of the sale that we made our way there, and so probably a lot of things had gone already. I was not intrigued by any of the games in the basement, and the garage had only a few kid-oriented games.

But, I did pick up Lego Creator to look at for a couple of reasons. One is that I had never seen it before (a good sign for resale). The other is that the Creator sets are the ones I enjoy by Lego. A spot of masking tape said it would be $3, and I thought why not.

how it plays

Lego Creator is a set collection game where your goal is to be the first person to build your Lego creation. At the beginning of play someone draws a MODEL CARD with a Lego build on it. The MODEL CARDs are grouped using color, and all players must pick from the same colored group. Keri drew a black card, so the rest of us drew from remaining black cards.

Model cards face down and a few face up showing creation guides

The MODEL CARDs

From here the play is roll and move with a single die. You move your adorable little Lego ball cap pawn around the board collecting pieces or stealing pieces as directed. As you get your Lego pieces together, you can start to build them. After all, the rules remind you that the winner is the first player to build their thing, not the first player to collect all the pieces.

Ball cap pawns

The pawns against a background where you can see them!

The Lego bricks in the Brickyard are separated by special pieces and plain old bricks. You can only pick a special piece if you land on a space indicating you do so. Other spaces let you pick any 1 (not special) brick, while some limit you to a certain color (not special) brick. The best spaces on the board allow you to move to any other space, so you can get special pieces, steal pieces, steal back pieces or just pick up 2 (not special) bricks if you like.

Play continues until a player has successfully built their Lego creation and is the winner!

how it went

We play a number of games, but rarely are we able to play with Lego during play! I think the group was intrigued.

Set up takes a bit of time, as you can imagine, because you are meant to place each piece onto its rightful place in the Brickyard. But it’s pre-gaming, really. It’s a fun little puzzle that you must complete prior to play. And if you bought the game used, you have the added suspense of discovering whether your copy is complete! (Alas, mine was 97.8% complete only because it was missing one yellow gear shift thing, though it did have the black piece that connects to it).

An overview of the board with lego pieces lined up in the middle and a standard roll and move board on the outside

A shot of our play showing spaces, the Brickyard and the Special Pieces area in the middle

The reliance on color is immense in this game, and a more modern version would hopefully address that issue. When placing the pieces on the board they become lost, the pawns often become difficult to see, and spaces frequently reference colors. Lego still does not really address accessibility in a very meaningful way in their Lego sets, so it is not surprising that this 1999 game disregards it completely. But there are some individuals and communities that translate Lego instructions into accessible versions for the blind or those with low vision. So it can happen!

FUN FACT: if you would like to read more about accessibility in tabletop gaming, check out Meeple Like Us who is doing such engaging and smart analysis in this space.

The beginning of play is so simple. I land on a space, I take a piece. I steal a piece? Ok I’ll take that one. As our play continued, it became clear that by drawing from the same color MODEL CARDs we generally use every piece on the board, and we rarely require the same pieces. In other words, we had very little overlap between pieces needed. So when we were required to steal a piece, it was more often than not just spiteful because in all likelihood no players have the pieces you need. This also happened when you no longer needed certain colors but landed on spaces requiring you to take one of that color.

For some reason I was surprised that the game planned this way. But it makes complete sense. And we could always try a game mixing and matching the colors of MODEL CARDs. That game would likely be more cut-throat, more tense and significantly longer to complete.

The instructions were unclear on whether your MODEL CARD should be secret. We kept ours secret out of an inherent distrust of each other, and because of the steals – intentional or forced. Why let your fellow players know what pieces you need if they are forced to remove a piece from the board that they do not need?

Keri’s creation required more special pieces than others, so she was at a big disadvantage. She found comfort in stealing the pieces of others while waiting to land on the Special Piece spaces. Bill seemed to have decent rolling and was able to build up his creation pretty quickly. And in the end Bill won!

And then we all finished building our creations so we could play with them and see how they would look.

A small boat with a fan on the back

This is my pretty boat, in front of my MODEL CARD

Keri's airplane

This was Keri’s plane, sorry about the camouflage picture

A race car

This is the winner! Bill’s little race car

A lego duck with a blue bill and red feet

And John made a duck. The MODEL CARD says robot but, like, that’s a duck

I like the idea of the different Lego pieces changing hands repeatedly. However this introduces a grind into game play where it’s just a battle to get what you need. If you need Special Pieces you have to land on the uncommon Special Piece spaces. If someone stole what you need, you have to be able to steal it back. I think one of us even announced, when almost all the pieces were gone from the Brickyard, “OK this is when the grind starts.”

The grind wasn’t too terribly long in our play and we continued to make weird motor noises with our partially-built creations in the meantime. So all in all, not bad.

play or pass

Pass for yourself, but Lego Creator might be fun for your kiddo. Or to play through a few times and pass onto the next happy owner. As a game, it leaves a lot to be desired. If the set we were collecting were anything but Lego our enjoyment would have been dampened considerably. But this is a Lego game, and I built a lovely boat, and it was pretty fun.

Review: Roller Coaster Tycoon

By On August 16, 2018 With 1 Comment

Review: Roller Coaster Tycoon
Publisher: Parker Brothers
Year: 2002
Tagline: Own the rides and build the thrill!

Roller Coaster Tycoon cover showing a roller coaster and image of the board

how we met

I picked up Roller Coaster Tycoon board game for a mere $1.99 at a thrift shop recently. It was a great stop for my collection because I found Roller Coaster Tycoon, California Dreams and Murder, She Wrote!

Like many people about my age, I played a lot of simulation computer games over the years like Sim City and Roller Coaster Tycoon. That alone is probably enough reason for me to pick up the game at thrift and see how it translated. I assumed it would be missing parts, but I was lucky enough to get a complete copy for this crazy price.

how it plays

The object of Roller Coaster Tycoon is to have the most number of points when the game ends, which happens when the MONTH counter makes it all the way to GAME OVER on its track.

The month marker just before game over space on the time track

Thusly

Setup for the game takes a little bit of time, but it’s not too bad. Each attraction has a tile that goes in its space on the board, text side up. These tiles become difficult to see if placed properly because they are designed to camouflage into the background perfectly. The GUEST markers all start at the Park Entrance. The CLOSED markers start on specific attractions on the board. And there are three 3-dimensional rides that you precariously put together.

The GUEST markers of different colors waiting to enter the park

Our heroes, the GUESTs

To start the game, players each get dealt two random attractions and $3million. Players reveal their attractions and pay the starting fee associated with them, flip the attraction tile on the board so that the illustration is showing and not the text, and then place the marker of your color next to the attraction to indicate who owns it.

Two photos on top of each other with one showing camouflaged attractions and the other showing attractions face up

The top photo shows the attractions face down and the bottom photo shows them face up

Players have an interesting decision to make at the beginning of the game that can’t be changed later. Each player has the option to purchase a handyman token, a mechanic token or both for $200,000 each (this amount is for 4 players and adjusts for less players). If you happen to draw a card during the game that requires your attractions to be maintained or inspected and do not have the correct worker to take care of it then you must pay $200,000. So it’s like insurance.

The dice and tokens for handyman and mechanic

The mechanic, the handyman and the dice

On a player’s turn they first draw an EVENT card, read it aloud and resolve it by doing as it says. EVENT cards may move the MONTH marker forward, award money, move GUESTs, allow bidding for one or two attractions either face up or face down, or require inspections or maintenance on your attractions, things like that. A complete EVENT deck will never need to be reshuffled; it will always have enough Advance One Month cards to end the game.

Example event cards including Advance one month, Auction, move Closed signs

These are some example EVENT cards

After the EVENT card is resolved the player rolls both dice. The color indicates which GUEST the player can move and the number will indicate how many spaces they move. If GUEST markers land on an attraction that is not purchased then nothing happens and the turn ends. If GUEST markers land on an attraction owned by the player moving them then that player collects double the points listed on the attraction. If GUEST markers land on an attraction owned by a different player then both the player whose turn it is and the attraction owner each get the number of points indicated. The board has several winding roadways so count carefully to see all the options. After collecting any points the turn moves to the next player.

Rectangular tokens in red, yellow, purple and blue

The ownership is represented by these small rectangular markers

You will want to get more attractions and this is really only done via auction which is prompted by certain EVENT cards. There are four different types of auctions: auction one attraction face up, auction two attractions face up, auction one attraction face down and auction two attractions face down.

A globe attraction called the 3-d Cinema with a yellow marker next to it

This is a nice close up showing the camouflage of the tiles and the marker showing Yellow owns this attraction

The auction rules are pretty standard by starting with that player and moving around the table, and when you’re out you’re out. If no one wants to bid on the auction then the player whose turn it is gets the attractions for free. That can happen near the end of the game so it’s worth mentioning.

The game ends as soon as the MONTH marker hits the GAME OVER spot on the board – although these Advance One Month EVENT cards tell you to draw another EVENT card after them, and if another card is in the deck then you do draw and play it out. The player with the most points at the end of the game wins!

how it went

Roller Coaster Tycoon is simple but it’s actually pretty fun. It is simple enough, in fact, that the M-word (that’s Monopoly) gets thrown around in describing its play. It is similar to Monopoly in that you purchase properties and hope that they pay off for you. But the similarities get a lot more distant from there.

The closed sign marker

This dumb CLOSED sign became very familiar to me during play

There are a few parts of the gameplay that really contributed to the fun. For example, the auctions were an exciting way to obtain more attractions. The blind auctions were particularly enjoyable to my gambling self. The EVENT cards are a bit chancy and can go really well or be negative. At times they impact all players and not just the player whose turn it is. The diversity of the cards was enough that they didn’t feel shocking, but they didn’t feel tired either. I looked forward to drawing my EVENT card every turn.

The money showing denominations of 100k, 500k and 1 million

#protip: spend it all on blind auctions

Choosing which direction to move the GUEST markers is very important. At times you will need to choose between getting nothing for yourself or getting some points that also award another player points. Tread carefully when splitting points and avoid giving any to players in the lead. Players with the larger attractions can end up gaining 8 or 10 points in a single turn, so you don’t want to help them out if you can avoid it.

Cardboard steel roller coaster

The steel roller coaster is one of the large, 3d attractions

At the beginning of play Bill, Keri and I all chose to pay for both a mechanic and handyman for our play while John said fuck it. It paid off for all of us. I personally had at least four occasions where I would have been required to pay in. Bill had two or three. Keri had at least three. John had none.

We got lucky in our play in that our EVENT deck had the final Advance One Month card at the bottom of the deck. So we were able to auction every property and see every card.

An overhead shot of game play

A shot of our play, including the gross Satellite Wafer Candies Keri brought

We had some fun with the theme. I started play with a Cotton Candy kiosk and a Merry-Go-Round – not great, but I had a fun nickname for the small area of the board I was growing. We noticed that there was no restroom near the hedge maze so it got a little bit of action. And at one time we had almost every GUEST in the restrooms due to back to back EVENT cards asking we do so. Small victories and dumb jokes abounded.

Attraction cards including hedge maze and ferris wheel

Example attractions

In the end Keri won our game by a huge margin. I think she had 70-some points and the rest of us had more like 40. She had some monster attractions and got some great cards during play, but I was still surprised by her final points. They add up. I’m not sure how that happened, except that I’m pretty sure I shared at least 10 of those points. The lesson being: don’t share.

Points tokens with denominations of 1, 5, 10 and 20

The points tokens

And the inevitable question, does the game capture the play of the computer game? Absolutely not. Other than look and feel, I’m not sure it even tried to. So you will be disappointed if looking for many parallels there.

play or pass

Play. This game is not deeply strategic, but I think that the EVENT deck is exciting enough to keep all players engaged. The gameplay is directed towards kids and is simple, but the game is also finite and it doesn’t take too long to play. The gambler in me likes the insurance and the blind auctions. I also like the setup part because I’m dorky like that. A place for everything, and everything in its place.

Review: Trial of the Century (1995)

By On August 12, 2018 With 1 Comment

Review: Trial of the Century
Publisher: IJP LLC
Year: 1995
Tagline: State vs O.J.

Cover saying Trial of the Century State vs OJ and showing a Bronco driving down the road with people holding signs of support

how we met

I had never heard of this gem before and saw it sitting behind the counter at a shop we stopped by. I could see it was called Trial of the Century and my phone told me it was about the O.J. Simpson trial. Somewhat miraculously, I was able to keep myself from purchasing the game at the time (thanks BGG rating reviewers, you helped!). But it made its way onto my wishlist and on we merrily went with our day.

Fast forward about two weeks and circumstances had us back at this shop. We stop by a few times a year but back-to-back visits like this were unusual. I only have so much willpower. Bill found a few things that he wanted to pick up, so I asked the proprietor if he still had that Trial of the Century game. And yes, it was still there hidden away on a tall shelf. He pulled out a step-stool and pulled it down for us, and off we went with our purchases.

how it plays

I was kind of dreading this part. Trial of the Century is a roll and move game where your pawn moves from the beginning to the end on a winding road. And no, the pawns are not white Broncos.

Stakes are high on this game: there are not just winners and losers in Trial of the Century but per the rules, specifically, the first player to reach the FREEDOM SQUARE gets acquitted. The second player gets a hung jury (sorry tax payers!). The third player gets convicted of 2nd degree murder. The last player gets 1st degree murder (in case you didn’t watch Law and Order like I did, I believe the difference between 1st and 2nd degree is premeditation) and a sentence of the electric chair.

Overview of board showing a start space and winding road leading to freedom space

The board set up to play. Note the portion of road with a shoulder on it.

The game board has spaces indicating DEFENSE and PROSECUTION which each have their own deck of cards. The pawns can be assumed to be O.J. so DEFENSE cards will generally help you out and PROSECUTION cards will generally be negative.

If you land on DEFENSE you draw a card from the deck, read it aloud and do what it says, which generally moves your pawn forward.

Example DEFENSE cards including one stating "Cochran got Michael Jackson off the hook"

Michael Jackson has a cameo in Trial of the Century

On a player’s turn they can choose to prosecute another player. They do this by moving to the side of the road (for some reason), drawing a PROSECUTION card and then reading it aloud and applying the damage to whichever player they choose. Generally these cards move a player backwards.

Example prosecution cards including one stating that OJ seemed upset at his daughter's recital

You can see that these are all things that might help the prosecution’s case

NOTE: The rules are genuinely unclear on whether or not you can prosecute in addition to moving your own pawn or if you must choose between one or the other. When questions like this come up we often err on the side of a shorter game, so we played it that if you were next to a shoulder in the road at the end of your turn you could also prosecute.

That’s pretty much it. You are trying to get to the end by rolling well, hopefully landing on DEFENSE for a little boost and sending your fellow O.J.s backwards when you can.

The first player to reach the end wins!

how it went

This game is super dumb and super short. The road itself is actually quite short for an entire game of play, so we moved very quickly along and seemed to pass over just about every DEFENSE space there was. Between the four of us we landed on DEFENSE maybe three times the entire game and got soft, gentle boosts forward. The DEFENSE deck was almost a non-issue.

We prosecuted the hell out of each other but even that was minor, like flicking someone on the shoulder. Annoying is too strong a word for it. It was like the difference between rolling a 4 and a 5. This just reinforced our decision to prosecute on our turns. It would have been truly annoying if we had to give up our own turn to send someone back one or two spaces.

Since the cards came into play so rarely during our play, the game was really just roll and move, first to the end. No bacon slides, no strategy, no charming pawns, no art to rest your eyes on. Nothing.

Close up of Bundy St. Residence illustration showing outline of bodies

OK, no art is a slight exaggeration

In the end I won just by sheer rolling decently. It was wholly unsatisfying, but I get few wins and I’ll take it. Bill was able to achieve the mistrial, Keri got 2nd degree guilty verdict and John brought up the rear.

My copy of Trial of the Century has the same quirk that Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game had: it was released immediately and it sucks. Unlike the Elvis game, it really embraces the subject matter. It says “State vs O.J.” really huge on the front and side of the cover. The verdict for the very famous O.J. Simpson murder trial was announced October 3, 1995. The rules of my game are copyright 1995.

Now I think that timeline is interesting, but it does not necessarily mean the game was released after the verdict. But no matter what angle you look at it, the goal here seemed to be, “Quick get it out the door.”

The game includes cards that play on aspects of the trial, so it was definitely released well into the 11-month ordeal. Generally speaking the PROSECUTION cards note evidence and circumstances that support their theory of what happened while DEFENSE cards note evidence and circumstances that may raise doubt in the prosecution’s theory. Let’s take a look at some of those cards.

This card says Fuhrman is portrayed as a racist

This one doesn’t make sense to me. I would think it would move the O.J. pawn forward not backward

This card says "Marcia Clark gets new hairdo"

Yes, Marcia’s hair is mentioned

This card reads "He screamed! She screamed! They all screamed for ice cream!"

Ice cream did play a part in the trial, but this is pretty crass

This card reads "Blood from under victims fingernails was type B, unlike Simpson, Brown or Goldman"

A few of the cards are very cold facts like this

Another similarity with Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game is that another version of The Trial of the Century, the one that has the most photos and information on Board Game Geek, seemed to be released later, in 1996, and has zero mention of O.J. Simpson, Marcia Clark, Johnnie Cochran or any of the gang. It’s an entirely different game.

For purposes of comparison, I will call my version the 1995 version (white cover, blatant O.J. references) and the other the 1996 version (dark cover, removal of direct O.J. references, different gameplay).

The art direction is a stark change since my 1995 version has almost none at all. Really just the cover and the board. The 1996 copy has illustrations on the various cards, and they have taken on a generic humor that might call certain people to mind while not naming them, such as the character “Mooching House Guest.” They also have a caricature-like approach to the illustrations that was likely meant to soften and humorize the subject matter.

The newer 1996 copy also seems to have a fairly generic board that goes in a square, where the cards allow you to move forward and backward. I have never seen this copy but just based on the card images available on BGG it seems like a slightly more complex game. But to be fair, that was a really, really low bar.

Trial of the Century (1995) is not very gamely. It is not using the board and die and pawns as a vehicle for humor or lessons either; those are absent as much as the game play is. The game does not stick to facts enough to be considered educational. It’s really a train wreck in every way – the “gameplay,” the art, the choice of certain card text, the card effects, the frequency of drawing cards. But the events and the trial were a train wreck too. And clearly someone wanted this 1995 version off shelves at some point. So now the world gets two versions of Trial of the Century.

BGG has very little user-generated content like ratings and reviews on Trial of the Century, and most of them appear to be related to the 1996 version. One user wrote in just to say it’s the worst premise they had ever seen for a game and that it was in bad taste. It’s difficult to argue with that, but this event was a cultural phenomenon that caused a lot of merchandise and cash-ins, and these things were consumed. Perhaps a more nuanced game could have helped people to process what took place or even understand the US criminal justice system a bit better. A lost opportunity.

play or pass

Pass. Pass all day long. This is one of one of the worst games I have ever played. The “take that” mechanic is just a whisper along the highway that sends one of your fellow O.J.s back a space, maybe two, rarely more. So mostly you are just rolling and moving, and that’s it. When I get a vintage roll and move game that does not have equivalents for “Go” and “Chance” and “Parking Lot” I tend to give it credit. But, like, it still needs some game mechanics.

Trial of the Century could quite possibly be referenced as the epitome of cynical cash-in games. There seems to have been zero consideration given to game play and the theme was approached with a very heavy hand.

Review: Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game

By On August 8, 2018 With 3 Comments

Review: Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game
Publisher: Lee / Raymond & Assoc., Inc. / Stephen Wilson
Year: 1978
Tagline: “Television, movies, records, and concerts…just as they were when Elvis became the King.”

Game cover showing drawing of Elvis and part of the board

how we met

I found Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game on the top of the game shelf at one of my super secret, magical thrift stores where I always find games I want to buy. Someone must have pulled it off the shelf and discarded it up above, but I have no idea why. Nor do I care.

Normally at a thrift shop anything Elvis-related would be overpriced as a rule. But this was $1.99. I did the math. Elvis Presley death 1977 + Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game 1978 = cynical cash grab. And I grabbed it. For all of us.

how it plays

Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game is a roll and move game where the object is to, well, get to the end. In order to do this you collect ALBUM SINGLES, represented by small certificates, as you go round and round the board, ultimately with the goal of trading five ALBUM SINGLES for one GOLD RECORD. Once you have at least one GOLD RECORD and you land on a STAR space by exact count, you can move to the middle of the board and try to reach the end of the game.

The game board has four different Gracelands, one in each corner, and players start in their respective Gracelands. Graceland is similar to Go in that you collect $5,000 when you pass your own Graceland. Technically the rule reads, “Collect $5,000 each time pass ‘home’ Graceland.”

An overview of the board showing cards, guitar images and Gracelands in the corners

You get a Graceland! You get a Graceland! And you get a Graceland!

Each player starts the game with $1,000,000. (You read that right. You start with a million and get five thousand when you pass go.) There are four decks of cards, one for each section: Television, Movies, Records and Concerts.

Elvis money including 5k, 10k, 50k, 100k, 500k

This is the money in order of how likely you are to ever touch it. That 500k. So sweet, so distant

If you land on another player’s Graceland then you pay that player $10,000. Players can’t share the same space, so if you would land on another player they are sent back home to their Graceland.

The board also contains SAFE spaces where you are safe and can’t be knocked back to your Graceland.

There are four small tracks that go into the middle of the board representing either Television, Movies, Records or Concerts. In order to enter these tracks you must land by exact count on a STAR space. Then, on your next turn, you can choose to roll only one die instead of the usual two and enter that track. The tracks are the best shot you have to draw chance cards, and those are your best bet to get an opportunity to purchase ALBUM SINGLES. You can also lose a lot on these small tracks, so tread carefully and roll well.

These show a variety of paying in and getting paid

Example chance cards

These chance cards can also allow you to steal ALBUM SINGLES. Those suckers will trade hands. You are not likely to become too attached to them since they could easily list different, actual album single tracks but do not. They are all the same. So who cares really.

Example gold albums and album singles which just look like basic certificates and are all the same

The game comes with about seven more GOLD RECORDs than you will ever need

Other spaces on the board will indicate what you do – usually collect some money, forfeit some money, etc. Many of these spaces contain (trying-to-be) fun facts about Elvis and specific events and performances that lead to whatever outcome you have by landing there.

The goal is to enter the GOLD RECORD DISC middle portion of the board with one or more GOLD RECORDs and win the game. This middle portion is the same as one of the four small tracks in that you roll one die and can win or lose big. This portion of the board is full of “Forfeit one gold record” spaces, so the more GOLD RECORDs you have prior to entering, the more likely you are to win the game. But if you get to the end, you are the ‘King of Rock’ and you win!

how it went

Our play was long, slow, frustrating.. but we will get there soon enough. First let me share some of our observations.

Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game was one of two games I had purchased in that past week with a seemingly similar past (stay tuned for the next review for the other cynical cash in played that evening). If you explore Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game on Board Game Geek, there are two different versions and the game is credited as 1979. So I got the early terrible one that they rushed to print before updating the cover. The gameplay description seems the same, but they may have adjusted some rules to balance play. We can hope.

I liked Bill’s description of the game when he said, “You can see all the fingerprints.” As in, you can see the imperfections. Every single component feels like it is tiptoeing around the fact that the game is about Elvis. The image on the cover is not a photo but just a drawing, the ALBUM SINGLES do not list any actual songs, the objective is to become the “King of Rock” and not the “King of Rock and Roll,” the facts are distant and ordinary. The real objective of the game seems to be cashing in on a tragic event – but also not getting sued.

Facts include Pearl Harbor Benefit 3/25/61, Off screen romance with leading lady, 1st Sun Record "That's All Right (Mama)" July 6, 1954, Entertainer of the year 1968

Showing Elvis as he has never been seen before

Anyway, let’s move on to our actual gameplay which can be summed up with words from a well-known Elvis song lyric: “We’re caught in a trap.” We played Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game diligently, but it was not easy. Players are frequently sent back to their Graceland so progress can be time-consuming and painful. There seemed to be as many cards allowing opponents to steal ALBUM SINGLES as there were allowing you to actually purchase one, so players were often knocked back by that too.

A yellow pawn in Graceland

A shot of me returned to my Graceland for the 5,000th time

You might have seen this one coming from the game play description, but players did not get enough money. Every so often you may land on a space or draw a card that allows you to collect money, but frequently you are paying in and being stolen from. The $5,000 you get if you happen to make an entire lap of the board (which I barely did) feels like getting sung to in a restaurant on your birthday. I know I’m supposed to be grateful, but, like, fuck you.

Purchasing ALBUM SINGLES is difficult both due to cash flow and opportunity. Because of this hardship, many of our singles were passed from player to player as steals happened. Eventually both Keri and John had five ALBUM SINGLES. Keri ended up losing one and John traded his for our game’s first GOLD RECORD! Eventually he landed on a STAR space by exact count and entered the glorified GOLD RECORD DISC in the middle of the board.

The blue pawn entering the GOLD RECORD DISC center!

C’mon c’mon no whammy!

From here, a couple of his turns went well. Then he landed on a RETURN TO GRACELAND space, and we all ignored it and kept playing. Then he landed on a FORFEIT ONE GOLD RECORD space, and we all ignored that as well. Trust me, you would have looked the other way too.

The next turn John got to the middle, was declared the ‘King of Rock’ and became our winner!

play or pass

Hard pass. A lot of people do not like roll and move games, and I get it. We play quite a few of them to varying degrees of enjoyment. But Elvis Presley ‘King of Rock’ Game would push any human being to their breaking point, and try to make up for it by giving them $5,000 three or four times an hour during play when they need $250,000. What if Elvis fans bought this game and thought that’s what board games are like?

What do you think? Can a board game that is an obvious cynical cash-in also be tasteful and well done? Personally I’m not sure I have seen enough data to be able to answer that one just yet. But I do feel confident saying it does not have to be a steaming pile of crap.

Review: Zathura

By On August 5, 2018 With No Comments

Review: Zathura
Publisher: Pressman
Year: 2005
Tagline: Adventure is Waiting

Zathura cover showing old 50's advertising type of art

how we met

This is another game that Bill brought home from a road trip somewhere. I certainly would have picked it up myself if I had found it at thrift. The cover is amazing, which is often all I need to pull the trigger. But I don’t think I had really heard of Zathura, for whatever reason. And I do mean, neither the movie nor the game.

The game itself becomes this intriguing 3-dimensional board with a puzzle that you need to protect, a weird orange die, a ROBOT and a CONSOLE that both serves as a die roll and spits out an order. I will follow that order, Zathura.

how it plays

The object of Zathura is to be the first spaceship to reach Zathura before your HOUSE is blown to bits by Zorgons. To begin play, set up the board, place DEFENSE TOKENS face down on Z spaces, place the ROBOT in the robot space, place the TSOURIS planet in its space, shuffle all cards and place them within the CONSOLE as directed.

An overview of the game board

I think you need to know how cool it looks immediately

Zathura is a spin and move game with parts of the board going 3-dimensional and resembling a roller coaster with a CONSOLE directing your activity. Gameplay is simple, but there are some nice touches to the game parts so let’s take our time here.

Your HOUSE is an 8-piece puzzle. Put the house together before play begins, because the entire object of the game is to land safely on the planet Zathura before your house is gone. Many cards and events that happen in Zathura may cause a piece of your house to be blown away, so do not take the house for granted. When the last piece is gone, you lose.

The house is a small 8 piece puzzle

Pre-game with a handsome little puzzle

The most novel part of the game is the CONSOLE, which plays a huge role in each turn. First of all, you spin the dial on the CONSOLE to determine how many spaces your ship is allowed to move. Second, you turn the key on the console and hit the GO button to receive your orders.

A close up of the purple console with pink details

The key is on the right, the GO button releases your orders and the little dial acts as the die

Orders consist of chance cards and can be a number of things like a Zorgon attack, a navigational attempt or a ROBOT attack.

    1. When getting orders to ATTEMPT TO NAVIGATE then you must throw the orange asteroid die. If it lands on a SAFE side then great, you are done. If not then you must remove a piece of the house. Certain options are available based on the color space you are on when you draw the ATTEMPT TO NAVIGATE card so refer to the rules carefully

An orange die with random shaped sides and a sticker showing SAFE on top

The captivating ATTEMPT TO NAVIGATE die

    2. When being informed of a ZORGON attack you and your fellow spaceships have the option to play a Fire or Astronaut DEFENSE TOKEN in order to defend yourself. If you or your fellow players do not have and/or play one of these DEFENSE TOKENs then a piece of the house is removed.

Defense Tokens which are small round cardboard chips that show Z on one side and various things on the other like Fire, Astronaut and Reprogram

These are those DEFENSE TOKENs we were talking about

    3. When the ROBOT is engaged then it will look for lifeforms to destroy, and if you pulled that card then you are that lucky lifeform. If you or another player uses a reprogram DEFENSE TOKEN then the ROBOT moves back to where it came from. If not then you must move back 5 spaces and the ROBOT stays on your old space. (Note: the ROBOT is not allowed in the last few spaces of the board leading up to Zathura)

As spaceships move around the board they encounter a few potential game changers:

    1. Z spaces have random DEFENSE TOKENS placed at the start of play. If you land on one of these spaces, that DEFENSE TOKEN is yours and can be used in future for yourself or another spaceship.
    2. TSOURIS-3 is the small red planet on the board. If you land on this space by exact count then you are pulled into the planet’s gravitational pull and must sit in the planet until any other player spins an even number. Then you may release your ship on your next turn by spinning the dial and then slamming on the TSOURIS-3 pedal to shoot your spaceship into space and move forward.

A small red planet with a hole in the middle and a pawn inside waiting to be freed

This image shows a small spaceship pawn trapped in TSOURIS-3

    3. SHOOTING STAR spaces let you move your spaceship all the way to the space just in front of the leader. Or, if the leader is in the final space, you can move your spaceship to that same space. These appear mostly near the end of the board and honestly don’t seem to matter that much.

Once a player’s ship lands on the last space of the board, facing the black hole/orb thing, instead of rolling they spin the black orb thing in hopes that the orange part faces them. If it does not, they take a card and continue play and try again next turn. If it does, they escape and win Zathura!

A ship pawn facing a black orb with orange marking the safe passage

This is what the end looks like

how it went

Zathura the game is based on the 2005 movie Zathura: A Space Adventure, so of course Bill and I watched the movie as part of this review. The plot of the movie is basically Jumanji, where some kids play a board game that ends up being all-too-real. At times the boys are unable to fend off their enemies and whole sections of their house get destroyed!

The movie was a little mind boggling. There was one scene where the astronaut character tells the Lisa character to stay with them, and he stares at her far too long – and has a stretch of light going just over his eyes like a daytime soap or something. We honestly could not tell if he hypnotized her or if she just had the hots for him. We rewound to rewatch and were both convinced he hypnotized her. Then she quickly talked about how lovely his hair is or something, so I guess she just had a crush on him. Then later *SPOILER ALERT* we learn that the astronaut is her brother, just older and from another time or dimension. This is never addressed, and it is one of many unexplained parts of the movie.

FUN FACT: if you enjoy bad movies (or as I like to say, movies that are terribly good) and do not already follow Red Letter Media check out their Best of the Worst show on YouTube. You just might love it.

Anyway the game board of the movie appears older and more metal but otherwise matches the board game exactly. It even rings a little bell when providing orders out of the console. I thought the puzzle was a clever way to recreate the house falling apart through misadventure. And the players are the same: the astronaut, the ROBOT, the ZORGONS.

Close up of the little grey robot

Did someone say robot?

I played the game a couple of times with a couple of different groups, but the gameplay was pretty similar both times. It was okay. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t love it.

The CONSOLE has a lot of issues in a lot of copies, mine included. Mine spits out the cards pretty well, but the spinner does not spin on its own. In one of our games we used dice instead, and in another we just closed our eyes and spun the spinner randomly.

It does not take too long to get around the board, which makes Zathura more tolerable than many other boring kid games. Gameplay is not too easy and not too difficult. I think my biggest complaint is a lack of diverse cards. Cards, or your orders, are the central focal point in both the movie and the game. But for the most part, you either need to ATTEMPT TO NAVIGATE, get chased by the ROBOT, get attacked by ZORGONS, move your ship, move another ship or lose a turn. Very little diversity. It would be cool if the cards were modular little narratives and created a story as you went, so that each game becomes a different story. Kids would not be required to read that part of the card, but anyone interested in storytelling or diversity in gameplay would have that option.

Example order cards showing things like Attempt to Navigate around some moons

A sampling of orders

play or pass

Pass. Zathura was just meh. If you have kiddos that are into space or cool boards then this might be worth picking up; it doesn’t go for a lot of money. I handed my copy off to a cabin where it will hopefully create some really fun memories. But if you are like me and just have an interest in weird, vintage board games, the happiest you will be is looking at the cover and perhaps the initial setup. The play itself borders on tedium – but ends pretty quickly. Which could be a lot worse (I’m looking at you, Detour! And your little gas pump too!).

If you do find a copy you would like to buy, it is best to test out the CONSOLE before purchase. You can work around the CONSOLE entirely if you want – it just acts as a die and a deck of cards you draw from – but it’s a big part of the charm.

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